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True Life Story: How abusive Dad robbed his son of his childhood

Published

4 years ago

October 14, 2020

Our upbringing goes a long way in determining how our lives would turn out.

People who had loving and understanding parents that gave them room to be themselves and practised the open door policy, most times turn out to become confident and successful adults with a healthy self esteem.

But those people who grew up with narcissistic or abusive parents who controlled and robbed them of their childhood mostly ended up being depressed or battling with chronic self-esteem problems because they spent most of their life being caged by their parents.

That was the case of a Nigerian man who recently shared his story on Facebook about how his father’s overly strict attitude ruined his self-esteem even to the point where he could not have friends or even talk to the opposite s*x.

He said his father never allowed him to have friends when he was young and that affected him as he grew older because he could not make friends or even talk to a woman talkless of having a female friend or lover.

“ He was strict and never allowed me to have any friends. The only people I knew were kids from my school and kids I see in the neighbourhood who I have no idea who they were or where they lived. If he ever saw anyone in the house visiting me, he would send the person away and I would be punished severely.

So from childhood, I became my own friend. I had no idea how to relate with ladies when I moved out of the house and started life on my own. My father didn’t allow me get close to anyone so I didn’t know what to say or how to react in certain circumstances. Sometimes, I can be hanging out with people I know and once a lady in our midst touches my shoulder to say anything, it freaks me out.

I tried finding a girlfriend on my own but that never worked out fine. I just didn’t learn how to process the feminine emotion and understand ladies. So when I wanted to get married, I travelled home to meet my parents and tell my father what I was going through. He said it was not a problem as he knew I may not be able to find a wife for myself.

He introduced me to a lady he personally handpicked for me and I accepted her. I didn’t have many friends so there was no need for elaborate plans or preparation for the wedding. We got married and returned to my city. The first few weeks were really funny because I didn’t know what to do with her.

It was the first time I was having a woman in my personal space in my life. My wife perfectly understood me. I shared with her the type of childhood I had and how reclusive everything was. So she started with the basics of teaching me body language of a lady and everything I needed to know.

I know it may sound embarrassing but I totally enjoyed the process, because it was my wife and we are on the journey together. I didn’t like the fact that I had such a tight childhood and my father had to make all my decisions for me.

But I was lucky he picked a good wife for me; from her, I have learnt a lot about what it means to be a husband. My father made me hard as a man, now I have a wife making me a husband and father.”