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NNPC replies Okey Bakasi

Published

10 years ago

March 10, 2014

Dear Mr Bassey,
We wish to acknowledge receipt of your “Letter of Apology” dated
March 3rd, 2014. The letter could not have come at a better time. We
must confess that we were impressed by your concern for your fellow
citizens. In case you do not know, your action was what saved the
day.
Like you correctly pointed out, we have not told anybody that even a
biro was missing not to talk of $20billion. We are particularly glad
that you have been able to identify the culprits who deceived you into
towing that line of asking “nonsense” questions. We suggest that from
now on, whenever those charlatans start talking about it again, you
should start singing Psquare’s song under your breath “You must chop
my money”, that way you will not be able to hear what they are
saying and getting swayed in the process.
Mr Bassey, because we are impressed by your humility, we have
decided to take time out to explain to you the $20b in question. First
of all, NNPC is not careless and so cannot just allow things in our
possession get missing. Secondly, we have the state of the art security
facility, so arm robbers did not come in here to take the money. What
we do in NNPC is dispense (like an ATM) or spend money and that
applies to whatever amount, $20b, $48,$100b etc. It does not matter the
amount, we simply do the “needful”
We expect that having felt our anger last week, you will not start
asking questions like “who did you dispense to?” or “what did you
spend it on?” questions like this can quickly make our anger resurface.
We will also be very angry with you if you start using “corner eye” to
look at our “beautiful aunty“ or at our oga that wears bowler hat or
making inciteful comments about them.
We have released some fuel for your use, while we use the days
ahead to watch if you will allow yourself to be deceived again. Please
prepare for election next year and make sure you vote wisely.
Yours truly,
Mgt