Love & Relationship

“I Have A Boyfriend But I’m Sexually Attracted To Someone Else” – Virgin

Published

4 years ago

August 26, 2020

According to a reader in Nigeria’s largest online forum, Nairaland:

I know I’m going to get alot of insults from you guys and that’s why I didn’t use my original Nairaland account for this, but please hear me out and give me good advice..

I’m the kind of girl that doesn’t love easily. I don’t think I’ve ever fallen in love before. I have dated just one guy and I broke up with him when he tried to rape me. I’m still a virgin and the reason is because I have trust issues. I know that if I have sex with a guy I’ll become very attached and my heart can easily be broken. So I’m waiting for a guy I can trust.

I recently just started dating someone. I’m not in love with him but we’ve been very good friends and when he asked me out I just had to say yes so that I wouldn’t lose him. I’ve still not had sex with him and I like that he respects my wishes. My boyfriend loves me and although I don’t love him equally I’ve opened up to him about how difficult it is for me to reciprocate love.

Then there is this other guy I just became friends with. I won’t lie, I’m sexually attracted to this guy. My sexual attraction to him intensified when he opened up to me about his kinks which are similar to mine. He told me he has feelings for me and likes me alot and can’t get me out of his mind. I admitted I am sexually attracted to him but that I don’t have feelings for him. I know he is sexually attracted to me and has made advances at me and even asked for nude pictures all of which I refused. But I still talk to him. He knows about my boyfriend and is aware of my situation. Occasionally he flirts with me but I try not to flirt back. I’ve tried to bury my sexual attraction to him but he is just so physically appealing. I’ve made it clear that I want to be just friends and he seems okay with it. I know I’m principled enough to not allow him have sex with me I’m wondering if it’s safe being just friends with him. I enjoy talking to him and don’t want to end our friendship.