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‘My Mother And Her Plenty Pastors’ – Lady Narrates Hilarious Experience With Her Mom



As narrated by Naira land Forum member with username Ahnie.

Mothers are sweet with their little troubles.
My mum is a handful.i think I inherited my drama from her.

Gift her units,she would never use it to call you,but would flash the hell outta of life.she prefer using the units to call her various pastors holding her on a kentro level.

I could recollect vividly during the last holidays when I took my kids to visit her, Immediately she entered inside the house with her hair scattered like someone that narrowly escaped being electrocuted.

The first thing that came out from her mouth was…ehen Ejiro welcome,oya stand up make we go see my new pastor grin.
Imagine someone that just came from a journey.

I told her,I was tired,but the truth was…I wasnt tired,I just detest her dragging me round her ring of pastors.
I found out that,they ve opened account on my mother,from monies to foodstuffs…it’s even a miracle she haven’t used my lil nephew ogaga as seed offering.

Before that visitation,I visited last two years when I needed mothers comfort,just little headache,my mother said it was the enemies trying to harm me.

That let’s go to church so her pastor could pray for me.i reluctantly followed her to church and due to the pastors flows and yarnings,we spent like 6 hours at that particular church.

In all fairness,the pastor get flows…he ended up dashing me one bottle of holy Communion,but let’s not kid ourselves,I know say na zobo he dash me.

Time for praises came,we danced,time for deliverance came,those that were swirling were swirling in the spirit that was controlling them.

Mother just cudnt let me be…instead of her to concentrate on her own deliverance,let me concentrate on mine.

I cud hear my mum breaking inside the circle, whispering in my ear….Ejiro fall nau,you nor wan fall?

I was wondering wetin concern my mum and me falling on the floor of the church?
We were placed as a group and instructed to form a circle.

Pastor hope started moving from one person to another praying and casting out imaginary demons.

My mom came back again and I cud hear her pleading with the pastor… grin grin grin
The things I don see for my mama hands eeh.

Thank God say,I’m married,if not my mum would have taken me to all the pastors in abraka.

I for be like…haa! aye mi,temi ba mi.

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Pastor this na my daughter wey I tell you about,my first daughter she dey stay for ASABA with her husband.

Pastor enemies wan kill my pikin for me, pastor Dem wan killam, pastor abeg pray for her.

I let out a chuckle coz it was kinda funny how enemies want take kill me grin grin.
I started laughing…..for my mama mind….I’m possessed by laughing out loud….the kind eyes she gave me eeh,I comported my self.

The pastor laid his hands on me,prayed and prophesied,after the prophecy,I turned to go away,my mum pushed me….oya go meetam make he pray for you so when una dey go back ASABA,make nothing do una for road.

Who am I to say no?I went back again to the pastor, obviously he was shocked seeing me appearing before him again.i relayed my mum’s instructions to him.

Pastor hope,had to call my mum….mama leavam I don pray for ram(her)
Pastor instructed me to get empty can of 75cl of ragolis can and fill it to the brim with his church sand.

Oshey,I did as instructed,we exchanged numbers and my mum,my nephew and my kids we all headed home.

When I got to ASABA,I kept in touch with the pastor and after sometime I got bored and stopped calling the pastor.

Of a truth….I don’t seat in a church more than 1hr no matter what as I easily lost interest in things.but I stayed long in pastor Hope’s church because not only were his preaching funny,he was also an interesting person.
To me I wasn’t really inside a church,I was in a comedy gig Cox the pastor was a funny entity.

I fell ill some weeks ago that I ended up bn admitted.i deliberately refused informing my mum because if I had earlier informed her,she would have asked me to come to her house,so that she can take me to her NEW PASTOR.

NOTE THE WORD NEW….she has changed or should I say she has ran away again from pastor Hope’s church,she’s now attending pastor marvellous church.

Pastor marvellous is a very young pastor with swaggs and pink lips,a student of Delta State University whose swaggs is tighter than buhari’s loins.

My mum cannot just let pastors rest…her house is filled with posters of pastor Chris okafor,Papa tb joshau of blessed memory,pastor hope,and the latest pastor marvellous plus other power charging pastors she has told me of on the phone.

Interestingly enough,whilst she was vibrant she no do all this pastor thangs o,but now in her early 50’s why the rush,why the jwee?

Anyways whilst on admission she was calling my lines and I refused picking her calls countless times.
I rather receive my drips at the hospital than to be taken to see a pink lips pastor.

She became worried and rang my husband who told her that I was at the hospital.
According to my husband,he said my mum was shouting…kweke!!ogheneme my enemies again.

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I was at home fully recuperating when my phones starting ringing again,I checked it was my mum.
In my faint voice I said hello!
Then,she dropped the bomb that prompted me to finally tell her to stop involving her pastors in my life.

Mum….Enh Ejiro,pastor marvellous sai na person dey do you wey dey make you dey sick.

Me…Mama I no understand wetin you dey try yarn me?

Mum…. pastor marvellous say person,one woman dash you pants wey she don wear finish,you come collect ham wear,and na person wey you know well well…..thinkam oh,Branch I say make you reason the matter well o.

Father God,I had to tell her that I would call her back,then dropped the call.

Father God,how would someone dashed me a used pant,pants that she has wore at my age?
And I would stupidity collect it?
grin grin.

I don’t know if you are getting the prophecy ABI na suruphecy?
Me…someone dashed me a used patari?
How desperate can pastor marvellous go??

Saying I was flabbergasted was an understatement….Cox I find the prophecy pretty awkward and silly.

I figured my mum must have promised pastor marvellous a bountiful seed.

I had to vibes with my demons to stay calmed
Because I cannot parayarn where my mum is….I rang her back and calmly told her to go back to pastor marvellous and tell him to check his vision very well, because his vision is not visioning with my vision.

Since then,I ve had my peace like a river,the latest now whenever she calls thus.

Mum…..Ejiro,how’s your body?
Me…maa’le I dey fyne,I don dey well small small Sha.
Mum….oya go front of your compound go pluck moringa leaf boil ham drink,edey work well well.
Me….okay maa’le

I’m still on the road towards recovery,but I’m glad that,I have successfully put an end to my mum’s invasion of her pastors in my life for the time being.