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HELP! Should He Go Ahead And Marry This Girl?



According to a reader ;

Good morning family. I need your advice. This post might be long. Kindly ignore my jargons.

I and my fiancée have been dating for years now (childhood love). 4 years ago, we broke up for like a year due to her infidelity. During that time, I was with different girls who are worse, except a girl (Bisi) who was a friend then, and was in a relationship as at then (I’ll come back to this)..

Back to 4 years ago, after we (i and my fiancée)broke up, things starts falling in its place, and I started living large. It all ended after we got back together, and I was back to square one. I thought it was because I was still in school, but it continued after school.

I met another girl last year, we were just friends, no strings attached. This girl told me that I have a problem, and that I’m not bothered about it. My response was that we all have different problem and that this was my trying times. She responded saying “is this how your life was few years ago?” She asked me to go out to a pastor and make my own findings. I’ve never seen this girl prior to this, we just talk on phone.

As per her advice, I went out to seek for a divine solution (I never believed in seeking spiritual solution from a pastor, Alfa or a traditional worshiper, but I did this time around). I was told that when things was good for me, I had a girl that I dated throughout that time, and that I should try and connect her again. I thought about it, and they were actually right. It was when I stopped calling this girl that things went south for me. I told them I don’t have any connection with her again and that i can’t connect her. I was later told to be observant, and that I’ll meet another girl, and that thing will change for me.

Back to my friend, Bisi….. She was in an open relationship. I envied their relationship then, and I was crushing on her secretly ( I and my fiancée wasn’t together then). I met Bisi recently and she told me she broke up with her boyfriend. We became friends again, and we started getting closer. She doesn’t live in my town, and we don’t see at all because I don’t have the time. But I noticed she’s all I want in a woman, and since I met her, my pocket never runs dry. I don’t have that intention of dating her at first until I noticed my pocket.

Now that I’m engaged, my introduction is coming up soon, and my extended family members and my fiancée’s are all aware of the date. I should have done the introduction months ago before this pandemic, but my fiancée said some hurtful and hateful words to me which I still remember and I’m still keeping it to myself. She also have some attitudes I’ve been correcting but never takes to correction.

I know you’ll say when I noticed all the above, why can’t i bail out? There’s a saying : the devil you’ve known for long is better than an angel you just met. She’s that devil I’ve known for long and she’s been known and has the support of family and friends.
You’ll also ask: will they live together with us? My answer is so dumb cos I thought I can’t find anybody better than her, even though my pocket runs dry. And one of the pastors said things will get better with her.

The dilemma I’m in now is should I put the introduction on hold, or I should go ahead with it for further observation on Bisi, or I should just carry my cross and work things out with my fiancée…. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage, so they say.

Insults are welcomed, just for me to be a better me.

NB: I’m not in a relationship with Bisi (not her real name)

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